I Need to Feel your Heartbeat
by WarriorCat99
Summary: A collection of one-shot romances.
1. Chapter 1

CinderXFire

**A/N: **Tell me what you think! I love writing romances! Also, you can give suggestions for couples in the reviews.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own warrior or the awesome couples I write about.

I watched in pain as you padded away.

"Don't worry, I'll still be the same old Cinderpaw."

But I knew I wouldn't be. Because I wouldn't be able to tell you I love you. I was becoming a medicine cat.

I loved you ever since you became my mentor. You were so kind, sweet, smart, and brave. I was so proud you were my mentor. But when I got hit on the thunderpath, I knew everything was going to change. The pain I felt on that day, not only from my leg, but from my heart, was unbearable. Sometimes I felt that pain when I watched you with Sandstorm. I was unable to do anything, I was condemned to watch her love for you grow from the distance. Nevertheless, I still loved you. Even though I knew I'd never have a chance with you. Sandstorm was the barrier between me and you. She destroyed everything. But, I don't blame her. I blame myself. If I would have listened to you, and not gone to the thunderpath, I would have became a warrior. Firestar, my heart has been broken many times, and it will never completely mend. My heart is scarred, and herbs can't fix an everlasting broken heart.

Sometimes I felt so immature, whining to myself, wishing you were mine. But I was a wise, strong cat. I could deal with the pain that came with heartbreak. I never expected I would feel so hopeless, and angry. Living in Yellowfang's shadow, sometimes I wondered what things would have been like if I would have became a warrior. I wondered if StarClan set me down this road of being a medicine cat. But Yellowfang pushed me, wanting me to learn. Little did I know that she, too, had loved, and it had ruined her life.

I grew up, though. I learned to respect what had happened to me. But a voice deep inside kept reminding me about what could have been. I could have been your mate. I could have had your kits. Sandstorm loves you, I know that for sure. But I always will, too. Even though you will never know. My heart will always belong to you, Firestar, and it always has. But no matter how hard you try, you'll never realize what I've been fighting so hard to hide.

Love can hurt someone more than you could imagine. You heart aches and your fur trembles at the thought of the cat you love. But, knowing the cat you love will never love you back is hurts more than any battle scar. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that herbs can't cure all wounds. You'll never know the feeling, though. The feeling of pain, the feeling of regret, the feeling of being desperate. Desperate for you to love me. The past haunts me like whispers in the dark. The past always reminds me of heartbreak, loneliness and sorrow. I dread the past. I wish everything could change, but I know it never will. Watching you with Sandstorm, reminds me that you will age with her. She'll always be beside you, helping you along the road to StarClan. I'll grow old, too. But I'll always be alone.

Being a medicine cat is great, but not as great as being by your side. Emotional pain stalks my dreams at night. When Sandstorm had your kits, I knew I would never have a chance. The tiny bit of hope I had was gone. I didn't hate your kits, though. It wasn't their fault that I was scarred for life. Even though you never realized, you hurt me more than words could ever say. Even though you've never said a mean word to me, being away from you almost makes my heart stop beating. Having your scent around me and knowing you can never be mine makes me want to die. But I have to be strong, because your Clan relies on me. I had to let go of my feelings, but I knew I never could. My love for you lives in me, like a fire burning in my chest. And I'll never let it die.


	2. Chapter 2

Intfyh

A/N: Thanks Stargaze for my first review!

Disclaimer: I don't own warriors, the Erin Hunters do.

I know you'll never forgive me.

I'm sorry for lying to you, I really am. I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth. I don't deserve to be forgiven. But sometimes, I think to back when we traveled to the sun-drown place, and when we discovered our feelings for each other. Back to how we used to be. I loved the way you worried for me, even though I could care for myself. I loved the way you protected me, even though I could fend for myself. I loved the way you loved me, and how I loved you. But everything's different now. You barely even talk to me, look at me, you don't come near me. The warmth that was once in your eyes is now replaced by coldness that shakes me to the core. You changed so much. You are not the Brambleclaw I once knew.

My thoughts often take me back to that gathering, when Hollyleaf told the secret. The secret of her parents. "You think you know, me and my brothers," Her voice faltered for a moment. "The kits of Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw," I felt a broken feeling in my chest. "Our parents are not Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw." Feelings came back to me, and emotions. The surprised look in Jayfeather's blind eyes, Lionblaze's hurt expression. I shivered, pressing against Brambleclaw for the last time. Under my breath, I whispered, "I'm sorry, Brambleclaw." Hollyleaf held her chin high. "Our parents are Leafpool and Crowfeather! Yes, Crowfeather of WindClan!" She announced. My tail drooped. "Is this true, Squirrelflight?" Brambleclaw's mew was scarcely audible. He received no reply. His eyes burned. "I thought you trusted me! But no, you didn't trust me enough, did you?" He spat, and began to stalk away. "Brambleclaw…" I sobbed, running after him. The memory is forever etched in my mind.

Sometimes I feel more alone than I ever have in my life. You were my world, my life, and know you're gone. When you look away, I don't even recognize you. The coldness in your eyes takes over your body and sends shivers down my spine. The way you used to look at me is gone, like a treasure being washed away by the waves. I would sacrifice everything I have for you to love me. That's how much I loved you. How much I still love you. But, some days I wish I'll never live another day, to never have to live the nightmare I suffer through each day. Every day is the same, a bad dream which I'll never wake up from. An everlasting, eternal nightmare.

I'll still cling onto memories, memories of you and I. It seems that's all I have to live for. But, Brambleclaw, I need to let you know, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. I should have told you the truth, you deserved to know. I know, even if I spend my whole life apologizing, I'll never truly be forgiven. You may find a new mate, one whom with you trust with your life. A mate who doesn't lie to you. But I'll always be waiting, cowering around the corner. My heart thumping wildly in my chest, waiting for you to speak. Hoping with all the strength of StarClan that you will say what I want to hear. Then, disappointment making me sour. You made me the cat I am today. Not the snappy, young apprentice, but the strong warrior.

As I age, I will watch your every move from the corner of my eye. My heart is full of regret, regret for what I have done. I feel guilty, and that guilt will haunt me for every pawstep I take. I have scars, but I have learned that invisible scars cause more pain than any battle scar ever could. My heart belongs to you, Brambleclaw, don't you see? Sometimes at night, I have terrible dreams. Your blazing amber eyes narrow, and approach me silently. I want to run away, but I am rooted to the spot. My mouth opens in a silent scream as you approach, your white fangs bared. You remind me of your father, Tigerstar, your eyes longing for blood to spill and your claws sharpened, eager for a fight. I collapse onto my side, unwilling to call for help. Then your jaws close on my throat… The dreams are a burden to me, the cat who I love murdering me. I suppose it's what I deserve. Is StarClan angry at me, I always wonder. What if I don't get accepted into StarClan? Many think all I want to do is get away from you. But the truth is, Brambleclaw, I'll always want to be with you, no matter where you go. I know you truly loved me, and I broke your heart. And for that, I am sorry.


End file.
